A Blog about Shadows, the unconscious patterns of belief and behavior that block access to my authentic, sacred masculine self

The very best use of life

...is to transform to the awakened state. Next best is to develop qualities. Next best and skillful use of life is gaining deep connection to capable mentor who promises to hold you and care for you even after your passing. The least useful is to say you are a Christian or a Buddhist and expect that to save you!

Friday, February 17, 2012

A New Beginning: Coming Out to My Authentic Self

A new life has begun for me and when I am done telling you about it, I will be closing a chapter of my life and also this blog.

I have been living with a secret for my entire life and somehow, in the process of trying to create the life that I have always wanted, I missed the very important fact that I have always been a girl in a boy's body.

Everything that I have done through my life, growing up in a fairly stable and loving family, going to college, starting a career or careers, finding a mate and starting a family of my own, have all been about trying to discover who I am.

I have asked myself why it took sixty two years of struggle to come to this realization?  How has this shadow been so deeply buried in my psyche that I couldn't raise it to the full light of day until now?

The truth is that I will probably never fully resolve this question.  If I seek a psychiatric or psychological avenue to answer this and other important questions about why I have suddenly "come out" to be the woman I've always been, will it change the fact that I am now living as Deanna instead of David?

At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter how or why, it only matters that I have taken the life that has been given to me, which up to this point has been hell on earth, and transforming it into the life of a beautiful, intelligent and confident woman who now lives her days, not in hell on earth, but in heaven on earth.

If you want to see where the new road I have chosen will take me, I invite you to join me on my new blog Observations from Crossing Over to the Other Side of the Fence.

As for this blog, Awakening to Aliveness, its been fun and it's time to say goodbye.

Deanna Joy Hallmark Once Known As David Lee Hallmark